Dib in Wonderland: Wonderland INVADED!
by Spectra
Summary: The Cheshire Cat has returned to take Dib back to the Land of Insanity, but what for? And will a certain alien be joining him this time? What IS this new threat that has taken over Wonderland, and will two bitter enemies be able to put aside their differences in order to vanquish it? Why do I keep asking these dumb questions? Come find out! A sequel to Dib in Wonderland!
1. Chapter 1- The Cat Came Back

A/N: Yes, kiddies! Your eyes are NOT deceiving you! After many, many years, I have emerged to bring you the sequel you've ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!... or maybe not, I dunno. *ahem* Yes! It's back down the rabbit-hole for everybody's favorite scythe-haired paranormal expert/alien hunter! And perhaps _this_ time he'll be bringing someone along with him? Aw, yeah, you're intrigued now, aren't you? I just couldn't resist taking one more trip to Wonderland again after all this time, so I hope you'll sit back and enjoy the further adventures of our hero as he navigates his way through a world of madness yet again, in an attempt to free it from a terrible new threat. While not based on a singular work, I took hits of inspiration from, among other things, the 2010 Tim Burton movie, the American McGee's 'Alice' games, and the Zenescope comics, so some similarities may occur. Also, you should check out my first story, _Dib in Wonderland_. You don't have to have read it to understand this one necessarily, but it's recommended.

Continuity: This story takes place several months after the original, sometime after the 'unfinished' episodes. It also disregards the events of 'Dib Through the Mirror,' a story a friend of mine wrote and that I finished. Okay, enough rambling, on with the show!

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**Chapter 1- The Cat Came Back…**

It started out as an ordinary day.

Well, about as ordinary as it got, anyway. When you went to skool with an alien trying to pass himself off as an earth child, had a mad-genius scientist for a father, a vengeful demon for a sister, were a member of a mysterious, secret society, and spent a good amount of time hunting down all manner of paranormal phenomena, _ordinary_ became a relative term. To most people this would all seem pretty bizarre to say the least, but to a young boy named Dib it was simply par for the course. For him, it was just another normal- almost boring- day. However that was about to change, and it all started with an ominous snicker…

Dib looked up, his attention momentarily diverted from his PB &amp; J sandwich (ever since that whole 'bologna' incident he'd found it increasingly difficult to stomach any kind of lunchmeat) and scanned the playground. His eyes fell upon on a certain, green-skinned "boy" who was currently absorbed in a solitary game of cards he was playing against himself.

"Hey, was that you, Zim?"

"Eh?" Zim raised his head, lavender eyes flashing. "What are you talking about?"

"Just now… was that you laughing?"

"Believe me, HYOO-man, if I were laughing at you, you'd know. In fact, that's not a bad idea." Zim threw his head back and proceeded to point and laugh raucously at Dib for a full minute before returning to his game.

Dib frowned. "What are you playing?"

"None of your business, stink-weasel! But I can assure you that it is a perfectly ordinary _Earth_ game that normal _Earth_ children like to play." Zim laid another queen down in front of him; that made six altogether.

Dib rolled his eyes. Though he didn't recognize the game, he guessed Zim was most likely cheating- after all, only Zim would be dumb enough to cheat against himself_. _Either that or he was making it up as he went along. Whatever. He took another bite of his sandwich, deciding to ignore him for the time being.

Just then, Dib heard the laugh again and felt a tap on his back. He peered over his shoulder, but there was no one there. He lowered a puzzled eyebrow, when out of nowhere something yanked the sandwich right out of his hands. "Hey!" He looked on in astonishment as it flew straight through the air, then abruptly swooped upward at a ninety degree angle. It hovered there for a split second, then came back down with incredible force, landing directly in the middle of Zim's card game with a sickening SPLAT.

"What!? What is the meaning of this!?" Zim attempted to wipe away the gobs of peanut butter and strawberry goo that had squinted all over his uniform, shooting a deadly glare in Dib's direction. "How _dare_ you soil my superior self with your disgusting jelly projectile!"

"B-but I _didn't_. It flew right out of my hand," Dib said, staring down at his hands, mystified.

"You expect me to believe that!?"

"Hey! I'm serious!" Dib insisted. "I don't know _what_ happened!"

Zim rose to his feet, flicking a glob of jelly off his face which landed on Dib's jacket. "Don't think I'll forget this," he hissed. "I'll get you back, you stinking pile of hyooman!" With that he stormed off, leaving Dib to wonder what in the world had just occurred.

He glanced around; the leaves on the surrounding trees were quiet and still. There was no possibility it could have been a strong gust of wind, and even if it had been, the wind didn't usually go out of its way to defy the laws of physics. Besides, he'd _distinctly_ felt something jerk the sandwich away from him. Not only that, but he'd felt an odd sort of… presence. He couldn't quite explain the uncanny feeling, but the hairs were still standing up on the back of his neck. And what about that laugh he'd heard? There had been something about it, something that sent an icy chill down his spine. It had seemed _familiar_, but he couldn't place it for the life of him.

He glanced down at his decimated lunch. "Guess I was full, anyway."

Dib crumpled up his brown paper bag and chucked it in a nearby trashcan as the bell signaled the end of lunch. Mounting the stairs, he sighed glumly; time for yet another informative, fun-filled lecture on the inevitable downfall of the human race, courtesy of Ms. Bitters. He mentally prepped himself for the dreariness he was about to be subject to, wishing that his teacher could talk about something more pleasant for a change. It all got so repetitive and dull after awhile.

Little did he know, however, that class that day was going to get _rather_ interesting.

* * *

"So, children, as you can see, while it may have begun innocently enough in the early part of the 21st century, it would later spread like an infection, paving the way for such intelligence-draining horrors the likes of which will eventually devolve humanity into a gibbering mass of brain-dead zombies, feasting on each other's insides in order to survive. Now, let's turn our attention to one particularly horrifying harbinger of doom known as _Honey Boo Boo_…"

Today it was lecture #37: The Reality TV Takeover- Third Sign of the Apocalypse. Dib had heard it a hundred times before, as had the rest of the tortured students unlucky enough to land in Ms. Bitters's classroom. While some children got to learn about things like math and reading, she felt it far more necessary to prepare her students for the really important things, such as their impending, gloomy futures and overall failure as human beings.

Dib leaned forward on his elbows, his head heavy, trying not to nod off. He forced his eyes open, firmly reminding himself there was no time for sleep, not as long as the alien menace known as Zim was around. He glanced over in Zim's direction, as he did about a thousand times each day, studying his enemy carefully. Dib knew he had to remain ever vigilant if he was to vanquish Zim's evil threat once and for all, even though right now he was having an awful time staying awake despite his resolve. He hadn't thought he was all that tired, but then Ms. Bitters's lessons often tended to have this effect. As the lecture went on, his teacher's words became a droning buzz, her dark outline against the blackboard a shapeless blur, the mindless chatter of the kids around him lulling him ever closer to peaceful slumber.

"Am I boring you, Dib?" Ms. Bitters voice cut through his sleepy haze. He practically jumped out of his seat.

"Huh!? Sorry, Ma'am! I just-!" The last word died in Dib's throat. He sat there staring open-mouthed at his teacher, unable to believe what he was seeing.

Was he losing his mind, or did she have… _cat ears? _And… a _tail!? _

He blinked and they was gone.

"Well?" Ms. Bitters demanded, tapping one booted foot against the floor impatiently.

"Uh, n-no, Ma'am. Sorry." Dib slumped down in his seat, the other kids giggling at him quietly. _Did I really just see that?_ he wondered. _No… no, I couldn't have. I must've fallen asleep for a second, there. _He tried to rub the sleep from his eyes, focusing his attention on the front of the room.

Another few minutes ticked by, and Ms. Bitters continued to drone on. Dib yawned, desperately fighting the urge to just give in and slip into a much welcome coma, when suddenly his eyes popped open and his jaw dropped once again.

"M-Ms. Bitters! Look!" He jumped on top of his desk, pointing a shaking finger at the eraser floating in midair right next to her head. She shot him a poisonous glare.

"What is it now, Dib?"

"Look! There! Look everyone! I-it's a _ghost!_"

Ms. Bitters gritted her teeth and turned wordlessly back to the board, while the class continued chatting amongst themselves in tones of boredom.

This was nothing new-it was usually how things went, and Dib was pretty used to his wild claims going unacknowledged , even when there was obvious proof right in front of everyone's faces. Still, that never stopped him from trying to make himself heard."Seriously! _Look!" _

Ms. Bitters turned to look in the direction Dib pointed. As soon as she did, the eraser dropped quietly back onto the chalk-holder.

"_No!_" Dib insisted, his voice rising in desperation. "No, the eraser was _floating!_ I saw it! It was a ghost or something!_"_

The eraser, a piece of chalk, a book, and a half-rotted apple on the teacher's desk rose into the air and danced infuriatingly right behind Ms. Bitters's back. She stared at Dib obliviously, claw-like hands placed on her hips.

Dib lost it. "Look! _Look! _Right there! _Someone_ else must see that! Come on, people! Come on! Come on! _COME ON!_"

* * *

Thirty seconds later, Dib was standing outside the door, a sign reading "Beware: Crazy Child" around his neck, arms crossed over his chest, lower lip jutting out at this latest injustice.

He was muttering something under his breath about "blind" and "ignorant" when out of nowhere that same disturbing laugh he'd heard earlier filled the air, echoing in an unnatural, disembodied manner up and down the empty hallway.

A chill running up his back, Dib's eyes darted around behind his glasses, searching frantically for its owner, when the laughter came again, this time right next to his ear. He whipped around, finding only empty air at his side. "Who's there!? Who's doing that?" he demanded, trying to sound tough, but his voice shook uneasily. Someone tapped him on the back, and he spun around, arms swinging wildly. There was no one there.

As he stood there panting, the bell jangled loudly overhead, and a noisy, chattering drove of students poured out of the classroom, heading home for the day. Zim was the last to emerge, and Dib stepped into his path, his fists and teeth clenched tightly.

"Okay, Zim, I don't know how you're doing this, or why, but knock it off!"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Get out of my way," Zim sniffed haughtily, trying to push past him.

"That trick with all the floaty… _thingies_ in class!" Dib said, blocking him. "And all that weird laughing and taps on the shoulder! I _know_ you're behind it!"

"You're crazy, Earth-boy." Zim tried to get by again, but Dib was most persistent.

"You said yourself you were gonna get revenge for what happened earlier. So, what's your dumb, little plan _this _time? Trying trick me into thinking there are ghosts again?"

Zim rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're _still_ bringing that up?"

"Hey, I almost got eaten by _rats!_" Dib exclaimed.

"Feh." Zim dismissed this with a wave of his hand. Finally he managed to sidestep Dib and marched down the hall towards the double doors.

Dib cupped his hands around his mouth. "I'm watching you, Zim!" he shouted, but his nemesis didn't even glance back. He stood there, staring after Zim suspiciously, then quickly gathered up his books, the gears in his head turning.

All the weird stuff that had happened today… it _had_ to be Zim's doing, right? After all_, _he _had_ vowed revenge, but then Zim usually threatened him at least twice a day, so that wasn't saying much. And his "revenge" was usually something lame, like spreading some sort of disgusting, alien goo all over his chair, or shouting "Look over there!" only to laugh hysterically when he naively turned his head. Well, the random taps on his shoulders did sort of fit into that childish vein, but still, unless Zim had somehow developed telekinetic powers, Dib couldn't begin to guess how he'd made all that stuff float around. And that still didn't explain the laughter he kept hearing.

But if it hadn't been Zim then what was it? _Could_ it have been a real ghost? The skool was certainly old and spooky enough to harbor an anguished spirit or two. There were a ton of rumors about the creepy, old janitor who had disappeared there in the boiler room several years ago. And the legend of what happened to the kids sent to the underground classrooms, how once they went in they were never seen again. A demonic presence wasn't totally out of the question, either- demons were often drawn to places of extreme negativity and emotional torture. Or maybe it had been a poltergeist! They were well known for being mischievous and making inanimate objects fly around. Or maybe-! Dib's mind raced with thoughts of the paranormal as he exited the skool and started for home.

He'd been walking for five minutes or so, planning to himself which ghost-detecting gadget of his he should try out tomorrow, when a low peal of laughter caused him to freeze in his tracks. The maniacal sound seemed to come at him from all sides, taunting him. He spun around, his narrowed eyes darting back and forth in their sockets. This was getting old. "Okay! Who's doing that!? Come on! Show yourself!" he yelled out, his patience seriously beginning to slip.

He felt another tap, this one on top of his head. His eyes immediately fixed on a tree branch overhead where they met with a vacant pair of oval spectacles that glinted in the sunlight. A set of long whiskers framed the insane smile that curled up just below them.

"Hello again… Dib, was it?"

Dib's eyes grew wide, a knot of dread forming in the pit of his stomach. His throat went dry as he struggled to speak. "Y-YOU!"

No. No, it wasn't _possible_. He _couldn't _be here! Dib didn't want to believe it, but there was no mistaking it.

Those stripes. Those glasses. That _smile_. It was him. It was…

The Cheshire Cat.

* * *

A/N: Dun Dun DUUUUNNNNNN! FYI- In case you were wondering, The Cheshire Cat is played by none other than Mr. Jhonen Vasquez, so… yeah, picture Jhonen as a cat and you'll be good. Well, hope you liked the first chapter! ^^ Come back next time to find out what this strange, mysterious cat wants with our little Dibberz. Also, I SERIOUSLY didn't know what to title this thing and I'm really not loving the one I picked, so if anyone has any better suggestions on what I should title this story please feel free to leave them in your review. Thanks!


	2. Chapter 2- Through the Mirror

A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for reading, hope you're enjoying it so far ^_^ Please leave a review and let me know how I'm doing, I'd really appreciate it. This story's gonna have lots and _lots_ of Cheshire Cat in it, so for those of you who loved Jhonen V as the Cat in my last fic you're in for some nummy goodness.

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Chapter 2- Through the Mirror

"N-no! No, you _can't_ be here! It… It's not _possible!_"

Dib stood there in shock, staring up into the smiling, bespectacled eyes of none other than the Cheshire Cat. Right on cue, an ice-cold draft of air blew past him, sending a wave of goosebumps crawling up and down his flesh.

Once upon a time, not too long ago, Dib had met this very same cat after falling into a bizarre, alternate world, one populated by freakish, distorted versions of people and other creatures he'd encountered over the course of his life… only crazier. And given the mental stability of most people he knew, that was _really_ saying something.

In this parallel world, his sister, Gaz, had been a blood-thirsty queen who ruled over an army of playing cards that resembled all the kids from skool. Ms. Bitters had appeared as a grotesque, multi-armed caterpillar, sitting atop a mushroom smoking a hookah. His dad had been a talking doorknob, of all things. And Zim… Oh man, _Zim_. He'd been dressed up as a white bunny rabbit, complete with stupid-looking nose and tail. With a gigantic axe in hand, he had served as the Queen's executioner, and nearly succeeded in chopping Dib in two before he'd managed to escape. J_ust barely_.

For the past several months, Dib had tried time and time again to convince himself that it had all just been a horrible dream, only a product of his twisted subconscious. And even though on some level he knew he was just fooling himself, still, for awhile, it almost seemed to work.

At least until now.

"Oh, it be possible, kid." The Cat grinned at him, the same way he'd grinned at him the first time they'd met back in that shadowy purple wood. He leaned on a paw, clearly amused at Dib's distressed reaction. "So, whacha been up to?"

Dib opened his mouth to say something, but instead he turned around and started walking.

"Hey! Where're you going?" The Cat jumped down from the tree and followed after him. The trench-coated boy trudged along the sidewalk with his head down, face set in a determined scowl as he attempted to ignore his unwelcome companion. He began mumbling to himself, his voice coming out edgy and tense.

"No… It's _not_ really there. I'm not _really_ seeing the talking cat from my dream. I'm just… overtired, that's all. Heh heh. Yeah. Just seeing things. It happens right? People hallucinate all the time when they're overstressed, don't they?"

A little voice in his head answered: _Yeah, right. And little, flying, rainbow-colored ponies control the weather_.

C'mon, what kind of greeting is that?" the Cat persisted. "And after I came all this way to see you." He vanished and reappeared just inches away from Dib's startled face. Dib quickly composed himself, stepped around him, and continued walking.

"I'm not talking to you. You're… you're just some crazy, made-up thing I saw in a dream. You're not real. That _place _wasn't real. _None_ of it was real!" he said, not sure if he was trying to convince the Cat or himself.

"Awfully closed minded for someone so preoccupied with the strange and unusual," the Cat said, that hint of mocking ever present in his voice. "I'd have thought that you more than anyone would realize that anything's possible."

Dib tried to come up with a good retaliation, but the Cat had a point; he really couldn't deny it. Aliens, ghosts, demons, monsters, K-pop… Dib knew some amazing and often terrifying things existed in the world. Hell, he'd even traveled to a _different _alternate dimension once before during Halloween, one based on his own imagination, filled with terrors even _he_ couldn't believe he was capable of dreaming up. He knew for a fact that other worlds existed. Was this strange ambassador from yet another of those alternate worlds really so hard to believe in?

He stopped and crossed his arms, turning to face the lanky feline. "Okay, fine. Let's say that whole thing _was_ real. So, what are you doing here?"

The Cat snapped his fingers and one of his beloved cherry ice-suckies appeared out of nowhere. He slurped on it for several minutes, barely hiding his amusement at Dib's growing impatience, before opening his mouth. "Actually, I…"

Without warning, a small green figure jumped out from behind a bush, and with a mighty battle cry, tossed a bag of potato chips at Dib's head. It bounced off unceremoniously and landed on the pavement.

"HA! Take _that_, you-! Eh?" Looking confused, Zim crept up and poked the bag with the tip of his boot. "What is this? That was supposed to explode! It says so right on the bag!"

Dib looked down at the bag, which had 'AN EXPLOSION OF _FLAVOR _IN EVERY BAG!" written on it in bold, screaming letters. He looked back up at Zim, a 'You gotta be kidding me' expression plastered across his face. Zim stuck out his lower lip, his cheeks flushing a dark, angry green.

"You may have outsmarted me this time, Dib! But rest assured, I will have my revenge, yet! You-!" He broke off when he noticed the Cheshire Cat staring at him. "What are _you_ looking at?" he demanded.

The Cat circled around Zim slowly, his eyes wide with amused curiosity. "Wow, amazing… you look just _like_ him- minus the ears, of course. Hey, what's with the funny wig? And those fakey contact lenses? Say, you gotta little fluffy tail under there by any chance?" he inquired, poking at Zim's bottom.

Zim cringed uncomfortably at the Cat's scrutiny and tried to back away. "What are you doing!? Stop that!" He turned to leave, but the Cat appeared right back in front of him, giving him a jolt. The Cat's body faded out of existence, and his floating, grinning head telescoped in to stare directly into Zim's eyes. He shifted his gaze uneasily towards Dib. "What is this… this disturbing _creature?_"

Dib wasn't sure if he was relieved or not that Zim could see the Cheshire Cat, too. On the one hand it meant he wasn't crazy. On the other it meant the Cat was undoubtedly real. He rubbed the back of his neck, not quite sure where to start. "Well, um… He's-"

"_I_ am what you'd call a 'Cheshire Cat,'" the spiky-haired feline cut in. "And _you_ are?"

"I AM ZIM!" the alien responded testily. "And I don't care for your insolent tone, you… you… waitaminute… Why does that name sound familiar?" Zim glanced at Dib again. "Haven't you mentioned something about a 'Cheshire' something-or-other before?"

"Well, I-"

"YOU'RE LYING!" Zim burst out, thrusting an accusing finger in Dib's direction. Dib and the Cat just stared at him blankly.

"What was that?" the Cat said finally.

"Never mind. He does that all the time," Dib replied, shaking his head.

There were a few seconds of awkward silence before Dib addressed the Cat again. "So anyway, why _are_ you here? And what do you want with _me?_"

"Well, as I was about to say…" The Cat stole a sardonic glance at Zim before continuing, "I actually need your help." The Cheshire Cat leaned forward and stared straight into Dib's eyes, that playful, mischievous air which usually hung around him suddenly gone without a trace. You _have_ to come back with me, Dib. Wonderland's been taken over and you're the only one who can save it."

"Wonderland?" Dib repeated. "You mean _that's _what that place was called? Huh… Funny. In all this time I never even thought about what the name of that place was. Wonderland… hmm. I seriously don't see what's so '_wonderful' _about it, though…"

He paused, the Cat's words finally reaching his brain. "Wait a second… you need _my_ help?"

"Indeed," nodded the Cat.

"And you want me to… go _back_ there!? Back to that horrible place?" Dib sputtered.

"Yep."

"Are you _insane!?_"

The Cat shrugged matter-of-factly. "Yes."

"No! No way! Uh-uh, _no! _There's no _way_ I'm going back there!" Dib took several shaky steps backward, his head spinning at the thought of having to relive all that insanity. He'd barely survived the _first_ time, and now this deranged Cat was actually expecting him to go back for _another_ round? Forget it!

Zim tilted his head curiously. "What's 'Wonderland?'"

Dib tugged at his hair, the memories of that day dredging up awful images in his mind. "It's that freaky, messed-up world I ended up in a little while back. I… I thought it was just a bad dream, but-"

"You mean that place you were babbling about for an entire month?"

Dib shuddered. "Yeah. _That_ place. Evidentially it _wasn't_ just a dream," he finished, gazing dolefully at the purple-striped proof right in front of him.

The Cat (now complete with Princess Leia buns) clasped his paws together and gave Dib a look that could melt frozen butter. "Please… help me, Dib. You're my only hope."

Dib fidgeted uncertainly. "But… why do you need _my_ help?"

"Because the one who's taken over Wonderland also happens to be your greatest enemy."

Dib gasped. "You mean…?"

"That's right," the Cat replied, gravely. "I'm talking about the Queen's former executioner, the White Rabbit… or, as I believe you know him… _Zim_."

A cold wind stirred up a swirl of leaves dramatically as the three of them stood there in silence. The green one blinked and looked back and forth between Dib and the Cheshire Cat. "Eh? What _about _me?"

Dib gave him a sideways glance. "He's not talking about you. He means the Zim in Wonderland, or whatever-it's-called."

Zim spun towards the Cat, his eyes blazing indignantly. "What!? You LIE! There is only ONE Zim, and that is _me! _The one and only _ZIM!_"

The Cat examined his claws nonchalantly. "'Fraid not, shorty. Seems you're not all too familiar with the concept of alternate universes."

"Of course I am!" Zim said, sticking his non-existent nose in the air. "There is _nothing_ that the great Zim does not know!"

The Cat shot a sly look in his direction. "Oh, so you know _all about_ how there are an infinite number of 'yous' in an infinite number of realities, then?"

"Natrually! Zim declared. "But, uh… maybe you should explain it to the Dib-larva here," he added. Dib rolled his eyes, something he did a lot of in Zim's presence.

The Cat smirked. "Oh, _well_ then, you should probably pay close attention to this, _Dib_." Grabbing a cord in that magical, reality-bending way of his, he pulled down a chart out of thin air. A pointer appeared in one paw, which he loudly snapped against the chart, affixing it to a crudely-drawn picture of Zim standing within a circle.

"Okay, basically_, this_ is the world you live in here. And _this_ is you," he explained, jabbing the pointer at Zim's scrawny chest. He then directed it to the multiple circles surrounding the first one, all of which contained more pictures of Zim with varying distinguishing features. "But these are all the worlds that lie _outside_ of that, and each one has a version of you in it, all of them different to a certain degree, but fundamentally the same. In this one you're a highly respected attorney." He pointed to a little Zim in a suit with a briefcase. "In this one here, you're a female. In this world you have a goatee. Over here you exist as the creation of a disgruntled comic book artist. And in _this_ crazy one here you wear a _blue_ uniform."

"Eeyuh!" Zim flinched.

"I know, pretty unsettling, right? And the Zim in _my_ world is known as the White Rabbit," the Cat finished, pointing to a picture of Zim dressed in a white furry, long-eared hood.

As Dib stared at the picture, a shiver involuntarily ran down his spine, flashing him back to all those months ago…

From the second he'd followed that freaky rabbit version of Zim down that cursed rabbit-hole, all the warped, crazy citizens of that world had done nothing except try to push him ever closer to the brink of insanity. Even though he hadn't done a thing except try and mind his own business, in the end, every single creature he'd come across had stood and accused him of various crimes against them. And finally, the Queen of Hearts had ordered him to be fed to the Jabberwocky, a ginormous, winged, reptilian beast that she kept as a pet.

"Wait a minute!" he exclaimed suddenly. "Why _should_ I help? It's not as if anyone made me feel exactly _welcome _the last time I was there."

"Because," the Cheshire Cat said, "the White Rabbit has declared himself the new King and taken the Queen of Hearts prisoner."

"So?" Dib challenged.

"Isn't the Queen your sister?"

Dib felt an unexpected pang in his chest. "Gaz? Well, kind of, I guess. But she… I mean…"

He had no idea what to say to this. True, the Wonderland version of Gaz _had_ tried to destroy him. But so had the _real_ Gaz, on more than one occasion, and even then he still cared about her. She was his sister after all, and despite her less-than-adoring attitude towards him, he always looked out for her. Wasn't that just what good brothers did? Wouldn't she do the same for him? Well… maybe not. But, though she'd never admit it, Dib knew that in her own way Gaz cared about him, too. Didn't she always walk to and from skool with him? And sit by him in the lunchroom when no one else would? Just the other day she'd listened to him rant for an entire hour about haunted donuts, psychic lemmings. and the secret government Cyborg-Chicken Project. True, she was playing a video game the whole time, but still, points for being in the same room. And as for this alternate Gaz, the Cat had said it himself- she was essentially the same as his sister but with a few superficial differences. Could he really just turn his back on her?

And, okay, it may have been true that none of the _other_ jerks there deserved his help, but Dib was a hero, after all, and heroes always helped those in need, even though it was often tiring and thankless work. Wasn't that why he devoted every waking moment to thwarting Zim's evil Earth-conquering aspirations, even though he never got the appreciation and respect he deserved?

The Cat continued in an off-hand tone. "True, your sister wasn't the most _pleasant_ queen who ever existed, but still, things were relatively peaceful under her reign. When the White Rabbit took over, he spread darkness and doom over everything, and anyone who tries to resist him is met with a terrible fate. Everyone is miserable with him in charge."

Dib rubbed the back of his head nervously. "But I still don't understand. Why _me_? Is there some kind of ancient Wonderland prophecy or something that says I'm the one and only savior?"

The Cat eyed him strangely. "Where'd you get that from?"

"Isn't that how it always works in the movies?"

The Cat was quiet for a moment, then his mouth curled up in a wide grin. "Uh, _Sure! _Yeah… ancient prophecy. Alright, let's go with that." Before Dib could say anymore, the Cat spun him around and shoved him down the sidewalk. "Okay then, it's decided- let's go!"

"WAIT!"

The two of them halted and glanced back at Zim who was standing there with his hands on his hips. "I want to know more about this "other" Zim" of which you speak, feline."

"Sorry, no time. Gotta get moving," the Cat hurried on, turning to leave again.

"Hold it!" Zim screeched.

"Whaaaattt!?" the Cat grumbled. Zim sauntered up to the Cat with a look on his face that Dib couldn't quite read, but immediately sent up a dozen red flags in his mind.

"I'd like to propose a… proposal." Zim cleared his throat before announcing, "Allow _me _to accompany you on your mission."

"You?" the Cat and Dib said simultaneously, though Dib was the more shocked sounding of the two.

Zim gave a slight nod. "I must admit, you've intrigued me, furred-one. I desire to see this "White Rabbit" version of myself with my own eyes… and in addition, I just _might_ help you defeat him," he added, producing a big, fake-looking smile.

"Oh please…" Dib mumbled, thinking Zim's little act couldn't possibly be anymore transparent. However, the Cheshire Cat raised an intrigued eyebrow at this idea.

"You know… maybe you _could_ help," he said, lifting a paw to his mouth in consideration.

Dib couldn't believe what he was hearing. "What!? Are you serious!?

"Why shouldn't he be?" Zim countered, puffing out his little chest. "I am clearly more qualified than _you_ to take on one so amazing and impressive as myself." He turned to the Cat. "The Dib-hyooman is just a pathetic, un-evolved little monkey that is no match for a superior being like Zim! The only one who could possibly defeat the Zim in your world is ME! _This_ Zim, right here!" he finished, pointing his thumbs at his chest and showing off an arrogant set of teeth.

"No way!" Dib also whirled on the Cat. "You really think _he's_ gonna help you? He's pure evil!"

"LIES!" Zim snarled.

"Even if he _did_ defeat his other self, he'd probably just take Wonderland for himself! There's no way he'd ever help anyone unless there was something in it for him!"

Zim folded his arms smugly. "You think you know so much, Dib-monkey! But I have no interest in conquering this 'Wonderland.' The Tallest assigned me to _this_ filthy planet, and it's this planet I will destroy. Soon. Probably sometime next week," he finished coolly.

"So then why would you even want to go there?"

"It just so happens I have a _very_ good reason," Zim smirked, a devious glint in his eye. "For you see, once I defeat this "other" Zim I will prove that I am not only the best in _this_ universe, but that I am the best Zim in _ANY_ universe! AH HA HAHAHA!" he roared, tossing his head back and thrusting his fists triumphantly towards the sky in typical 'Zim' fashion.

"Sounds good to me," the Cheshire Cat said with a shrug.

Dib was aghast. "You're really going to trust him!?"

"Hey, I need all the help I can get, and if he's wants to tag along who am I to argue?" Under his breath he added, "Besides, it'll be way more fun this way."

Dib raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

"Nuthin. Now, you promise to turn the crown back over to the Queen once we take back the kingdom, right? " he said wagging a finger at the Irken Invader.

"Of course," Zim answered, putting on a big, cheesy smile and folding his arms behind his back in an attempt to pass himself off as the picture of innocence. Dib almost expected a fake halo to appear over his head.

"See?" the Cat said to Dib as if this completely proved the point. "Now, let's go."

"But-! I-! He-!" Dib tried in vain to protest. "Oh, just… fine! Whatever!" he caved with a resentful frown. "But I'm telling you this is a big mistake." He thrust a finger at Zim, warning in an icy tone, "I'm gonna be watching you every minute, space-lizard, so watch your back!"

Zim mirrored the gesture. "And _I'll _be watching _you_, hyooman! So-!"

"Okay, okay, let's get moving already." The Cat shoved in between them and started down the sidewalk. Dib and Zim exchanged one last hostile glare, then followed behind him.

Dib jogged up beside the Cat. "So, how are we going to get back to this place? Do we have to go down that stupid rabbit-hole again?"

"Nope. There's a better way to get there. Just follow me."

After a few minutes, Dib realized they were taking the route he usually took to get home, and soon the three of them were standing in front his house. "What are we doing here?"

"You'll see." The Cat floated up to the front door, causing Dib to look around a little warily. He just hoped the neighbors weren't watching- a levitating, glasses-wearing cat would be a bit hard to explain, even for him.

As soon as Dib stepped inside, he instinctively stuck his arm out to keep Zim from coming through the door. Zim stuck his hands on his hips, glowering at him intensely, and it took every ounce of willpower Dib had to move aside and let his mortal foe enter his home. "Just don't touch anything," he warned.

"I'm hardly interested in your silly little doodads," Zim sniffed contemptibly.

Dib tossed his backpack on the couch. The house was silent; Gaz wasn't home yet (he vaguely remembered something about a new game going on sale), and his workaholic father was, of course, busy discovering the latest cures and fashioning groundbreaking devices to better mankind at his lab across town.

The Cheshire Cat floated over and eyed one of the many lamps shaped like the Professor. "Hey, nice house you got here. Interesting decor. Sorta reminds me of this doorknob I know."

Zim decided he'd better let his second-in-command know what was going on. The top spot on his PAK slid open and a small hanging monitor emerged. He pushed a few buttons, and a round, green face flickered into view on the screen. "Yes? Oh, hey Zim. What's up?"

"Skoodge, I'll be going away for a little while. I want you to keep an eye on things. There's some waffles in the fridge, and just make sure GIR doesn't destroy the place, got it?"

"Yes, Sir!" Skoodge saluted eagerly. "Have fun!" The sound of GIR and Minimoose cheering in the background could be heard just before the screen went black, and Zim dusted his hands off (cause that's just what you do when something gets done, I guess).

Meanwhile, Dib had run upstairs to get his camera, and now he reappeared in the living room. If he had to go back to this 'Wonderland' place he was sure as heck gonna get some pictures this time. He tucked it in his pocket and looked up at the Cat's hovering visage. "Okay, so what do we do now?"

The Cat peered around the room, as if searching for something. "You got a mirror around here somewhere?"

Dib looked puzzled. "There's one in the bathroom."

"Perfect." The Cat bounded up the stairs, Dib and Zim following close behind him. Levitating into the bathroom above the sink, he put a claw to the mirror's grimy surface. He tapped it twice, and on the second tap the glass rippled beneath his touch like a pool of water. Dib looked on, surprised as the Cat proceeded to slip right through the mirror and disappear beneath its reflective surface. He popped his head back out and motioned to the two boys. "Right this way."

Dib climbed up onto the sink and stared at his reflection before placing his hand against the mirror. It sank right through the mercury-like glass and he immediately yanked it back. He looked down at Zim distrustfully. "You first."

Zim rolled his eyes, letting out a disgusted huff before using his mechanical extension legs to lift himself up to the mirror. Placing a gloved hand against it, he hesitated for only a second to flash Dib a self-righteous sneer before stepping through.

_He wouldn't be acting so tough if he knew what was on the other side of that thing_, Dib thought with a tired sigh. _I can't _believe_ I'm doing this again_. He looked at himself once more, then took a deep breath, and, setting his jaw in resolve, stuck his entire arm through the mirror's surface and pushed his way through to the other side.

* * *

A/N: All right! Zim's coming along this time! (you probably guessed that though, didn't you, being the bright young lad/lass that you are) Sorry it took two whole chapters to get to this point, but I promise we'll be diving right into Wonderland from here on in! ^-^ BTW, I don't actually have anything against K-pop, I just put that in to piss-off my sister :D


	3. Chapter 3- Dib AND Zim in Wonderland?

A/N: Again, thanks to those who've read this far! Really, I love you. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! *ahem* Anyway, sorry it's taken this long, but we're finally down the rabbit hole!... well, Dib and Zim are anyway, and now things are really gonna get going so REJOICE EVERYONE! Or just, y'know, read on... whatev's.

As always, enjoy ^^ And please leave a review if you have a sec- even short ones are much appreciated! Thanks!

* * *

Chapter 3: Wonderful Wonderland of Wondrous Wonder… Something (yeah I know, the chapter title doesn't match, but this one was too long to fit -_-)

After stepping through the mirror, instead of meeting with solid ground, Dib's foot met with nothing but air on the other side. "Wha-!?" Before he could catch his balance, he felt himself being pitched forward, and his screams nearly shattered his own eardrums as he began plummeting downward.

He tumbled through the air for what felt like an eternity (though in actuality it was only a few seconds), becoming vaguely aware of Zim's cries of terror mingling with his own and spotting the alien flapping his arms uselessly in the air nearby. And if falling into an endless void weren't enough, things only got worse for the boy and the alien when they saw they were headed straight into the center of a whirling black and purple vortex. It swallowed the two of them up, whipping them around in a dizzying spiral as it dragged them further and further down towards the unknown.

After about ten minutes and lots of horrible, uncontrollable screaming, a faint light began to glow beneath them in the swirling darkness. Gradually it grew brighter, and the sides of the vortex widened out until it became a vast, cloud-filled sky. Now Dib and Zim could see that they were miles above the ground, gravity pulling them rapidly towards the hard, unforgiving earth. They kept right on screaming, until a voice next to them said, "Hey, just relax, would you?" They looked over to see the Cheshire Cat falling beside them, his whiskers whipping at his face in the upward rushing air.

"Relax!? Are you _kidding_ me!? We're going to DIE!" Dib shrieked, his panicked eyes practically taking up his entire face. "I thought you said this way was better! So how come we're _falling!?_"

The Cat tipped his paw casually as if they _weren't_ all just seconds away from their doom. "Sorry, you can never really tell where the exit portal will appear. Sometimes it's in the sky, sometimes underwater, sometimes a wall in some psycho's basement… it's totally unpredictable."

"But… how are we going to _stop!?_" Dib looked down; the grass was quickly closing in, and it wouldn't be long before they were rudely introduced to the ground. "You're all magical and stuff, aren't you!? _Do something!_"

The Cheshire Cat rolled his eyes (at least Dib thought so; it was hard to tell under those glasses, but it was evident in the tone of his voice). "You outsiders are so dramatic." The ground was dangerously close now, but just before they could become horrific splatters of blood and gore, the Cat grabbed Dib and Zim and the three of them vanished into thin air. When they reappeared, they were only a few feet above the ground, and the two boys dropped unceremoniously into a soft bed of clover.

Dib tried to sit up, but there was something heavy laying on his chest. "Get off me, Zim!" he grunted, shoving the alien aside like a lumpy sack of potatoes. He held a shaking hand over his heart, letting out a breath of gratitude that he was still alive and in one piece. _Geez_, he thought irritably, _at least when I fell down that rabbit hole I fell _slowly. Next to him, Zim sat up with a groan, rubbing his sore head and taking a second to adjust his wig. The Cheshire Cat sat perched in a nearby tree, humming and looking rather pleased with himself. He stretched out his rail-like limbs and sucked in a deep lungful of air, savoring its familiar scent. "Ah, home sweet home. Well, boys, here we are! Welcome to Wonderland!"

Zim and Dib stumbled to their feet, still a little dizzy from the fall, and gazed around to see where they'd landed. As a member of a race that had mastered interplanetary travel, Zim had seen his share of odd landscapes, and Dib, of course, had been here once before, so he wasn't too surprised by any of what he saw. Still, they both had to admit it was… well, it was certainly _something, _that's for sure. The Nightmare World had been scary, but this place was a nightmare of a different kind altogether.

Standing on the edge of a high ridge, they looked down into a wide valley that spread out from one horizon to the other, and while under normal conditions it would have been rather pretty to look at, this particular landscape was drenched in so many bright, vivid colors that it reminded Dib more of a box of crayons that had melted in the sun. Oddly shaped trees with twisted branches grabbing for the sky swayed in the breeze, punctuated here and there by enormous spotted mushrooms rising up out of the earth. Weird plants and flowers, like none ever conceived of in their own world, grew between the trees in a multitude of shapes and sizes, showing off eye-straining hues that simply didn't exist in the normal, human spectrum. All together the effect was like something one might hallucinate during a fever dream- abrasively garish and uncomfortable to look at. If you need a further mental picture try imagining '_The Wizard of Oz_'amp'd up to a thousand, and you'll start to get the idea.

"Hmm. Nice place," Zim remarked with his usual level of interest in things not involving himself. "Now, Cat, take me to this "other" Zim! I'm quite curious to meet this Wonder-whatsis self of mine." Wasting no time, he started off in an arbitrary direction, but Dib grabbed him by the arm.

"Wait. Before we do anything we should come up with a plan first."

"_You_ can sit here and come up with a plan," Zim sniffed, shaking himself from Dib's grip.

Dib huffed, already growing frustrated with his Irken companion. It usually didn't take long. "Zim, you idiot. You can't just go blindly storming in without knowing anything about the situation!"

"Well, how are we supposed to find out anything by just standing here!" Zim shot back.

The Cheshire Cat materialized between the two of them before their argument could escalate, draping his arms casually over their heads. "Guys, just shut-up for a second. Before we do anything else, we have to go see the Caterpillar."

Dib blinked in surprise. "Caterpillar? You mean… _Ms. Bitters?" _

"If that's the name you prefer."

Dib flashed back to the first time he'd come across the Wonderland version of his teacher. It wasn't exactly a pleasant memory. "Wait a sec… I thought she was a butterfly now."

The Cat sucked in a stream of air through gritted teeth. "Well see, there was this little incident involving a bug zapper, and well… let's just say those butterfly wings didn't last too long."

"How's she going to help us? Dib asked, not looking too hopeful. She certainly hadn't been very helpful the _last_ time he was here.

"Well, she's really old. Like really, reeeeaaaaally old. Like scary, ancient Egyptian mummy old."

"And?" Dib prodded.

"And old people know a lot of stuff. Y'know, 'Age equals wisdom' as the say."

Dib didn't necessarily think this was true- wasn't Zim really much older than he looked?

"Whoever _they_ are," the Cat rattled on. "I've never actually met them, but they're always sayin' stuff. Anyway, the Caterpillar knows everything that goes on around here. I'm sure she'll be able to fill us in on the whole back-story, and also maybe tell us how to defeat the Jabberwocky, and-"

"_JABBERWOCKY!?_" Dib gasped.

The blood stopped cold in his veins. His heart leapt into his throat. A terrified sweat broke out on his forehead.

The instant the word was out, his mind once again snapped him back in time. Suddenly he was standing back in the courtroom of the Queen of Hearts, staring up in horror as an enormous black shadow fell over him, the monstrous form of the beast known as the Jabberwocky slowly materializing in its midst. He could see it clearly, towering far above him, saliva dripping from its huge, gnashing teeth, its massive, deadly claws dangling from the ends of its long, reptilian fingers. Of all the creatures Dib had encountered in this horrible world, the Jabberwocky had been the _most_ horrible, its bloodcurdling image permanently seared into his eyeballs. Even now, months later, he sometimes woke up in a cold sweat on the verge of a scream, those burning yellow eyes still chasing him endlessly through his nightmares. "Y-you never said anything about that- that- _MONSTER!_"

The Cat scratched his head. "I didn't?"

"_No!_"

"Oops." The Cat didn't even try to hide his sadistic grin. "I probably did that cause you might not have come if I'd mentioned it. Still, how _else _do you think the Rabbit managed to take over this place?"

"I… guess I should've probably asked about that," Dib replied weakly. "But… I mean, I just _can't_ face that horrible thing again! It almost killed me last time! _And_ it ruined my jacket!" He realized he was shaking uncontrollably.

Zim scrunched up his face in confusion. "Jabbah-wha?"

Dib did a face palm. "Geez, Zim! I went on about this place every day for _weeks! _Did you even listen to _anything_ I said!?"

Zim brushed this off with the flick of his wrist. "I never listen to your nonsensical, little babbling noises."

"Aw man," Dib moaned, burying his face in his hands. "How could this _possibly_ get any worse?"

The Cat snickered. "How 'bout this?" he said, snapping his fingers.

Dib lifted his head. To his horror he was now wearing a pretty powder-blue dress beneath a stark white apron, along with striped stockings and shiny, little Mary-Janes clinging to his feet.

"HEY!"

The Cat snapped his fingers again and Dib was instantly back in his normal clothes. He looked down, shooting the Cat a dirty look. "The shoes, too."

Another snap and his boots were also back in place.

"That was so not funny," he grumbled. "_Shut-up Zim!_" He whirled on the alien, who was doubled over in laughter.

Dib looked like he was about two seconds away from strangling him, so the Cat shoved them along before things could get too heated. "Okay, enough wasting time! Let's move!" But Dib dug his heels into the dirt, forcing them to halt.

"O-okay, but… that 'ancient prophecy' you mentioned…? I-it definitely says I end up winning against the Jabberwocky, right?" he asked, a pleading note in his voice.

"Prophecy?" The Cat repeated, looking confused. "What are you- OH! Oh yeah, prophecy. Ummmm… sure. Why not?"

Dib didn't find his tone too encouraging, but he desperately needed that small sliver of hope to hold onto, so he decided to leave it at that. Instead he asked, "So, now that you mention it, just how _did _the Rabbit take over everything, anyway?" Beside him, Zim's antennae perked up beneath his hairpiece.

"All I know is he somehow managed to gain control of the Queen's little pet. He threatened to destroy the entire population unless they made him their ruler, and if anyone questions his orders or disobeys him he sends the creature after them. They hate having him as King, but it beats being a Jabberwocky snack."

Dib simply couldn't comprehend this. It was hard enough imagining the regular Zim pulling off something like this, but an even lamer version of him that dressed himself as a _bunny-rabbit_? "But I don't get it- how can he possibly control something that big and powerful?"

The Cat merely tipped his paw. "No clue."

Dib folded his arms, glaring at him skeptically. "And yet you seem to know everything about everything else. How awfully convenient."

The Cat grinned. "Isn't it, though?"

Zim stuck his non-existent nose in the air smugly. "Ha. This "other" Zim's ability to control such a beast is simply more proof of my amazingness in any dimension."

Dib opened his mouth to say something to this, but decided against it. If he was going to survive this insane little trip, he figured he'd be far better off just conserving his brain cells.

The three of them continued on their way in silence, the two boys glancing around curiously at the odd sights they passed. Despite his agitated state, Dib had almost forgotten how strangely remarkable this place could be- not beautiful exactly (it was a little too over-the-top and bizarre for that), but certainly interesting to say the least. After a time he began to relax a little, even pulling out his camera and snapping photos of all the weird, living creatures surrounding them. Enormous horseflies the size of… horses and dragonflies the size of… well, _dragons_, darted through the air, the dull sunlight illuminating their blue-green bodies and shimmering through their iridescent wings. He snapped a picture of a little, green pig-like creature with a curly tail as it trotted across his path, its tiny hooves making a rhythmic clickity-click on the dry, dusty ground. High above them, he could see elephants flittering between giant flowers, gathering pollen in their trunks like huge, fat bumblebees. Hanging upside down from a tree he saw a neat looking half bat, half spider-cat creature stretching its wings. And just up ahead he saw a group of card soldiers with-

Dib gasped, clamping a hand over his mouth before the sound could escape, but it was too late. The soldier at the head of the procession pointed in the trio's direction, shouting something unintelligible to the others, but the message was loud and clear: They'd been spotted!

The Cat's voice rang shrilly in his ears. _"RUN!" _

Frantically, Dib and Zim looked from left to right. Seeing no other means of escape, they dived into the surrounding trees hoping they would provide some cover, but the soldiers were quick to follow. And despite both the boy and the alien having had plenty of experience evading enemies in the past (usually each other), they couldn't seem to shake them; the scraggly trees grew sparsely in this area which was unfamiliar to either of them, and no matter which way they went it seemed their pursuers always kept them within their sights.

Finally, after a few minutes of dodging between trees, Dib and Zim managed to put a little distance between them and the soldiers, but they were nearly out of breath, while the small army continued trampling through the underbrush undaunted, swiftly closing in on the two outsiders. Bursting though a row of bushes, the two boys ended up in a large clearing. The sounds of footsteps and breaking twigs surrounded them on all sides, letting them know there was nowhere to run. Filling with panic, Dib whipped his head around, searching for someplace to hide, but there was little foliage nearby and the soldiers were now too close- even if they _could_ find some cover, they'd quickly be discovered. Feeling like trapped animals, he and Zim bumped into each other they backed away from the encroaching army.

Suddenly, like a caped vigilante in the night (only without the cape… or the night), the Cheshire Cat appeared. He wrapped his arms around the two of them, and Dib's vision momentarily faded to black. When it returned, all three of them were miraculously in another part of the woods, about fifty feet away from the group of soldiers which stood there looking perplexedly at the spot their potential captives had disappeared from. Quickly, they ducked down, but the soldiers were already spreading out, searching for them once again.

"They're coming!" Dib's voice came out in a fretful whisper. "Quick, get us out of here!"

"I can't teleport that far with two extra people," the Cat whispered back. "But I've got another idea." Reaching behind his back, he produced a small vial containing a strange, red liquid. He shoved it in Dib's hand. "Here. Drink this."

Dib stared at it, an uneasy, sinking feeling forming in his gut. "Oh, no… this isn't what I _think_ it is, is it?"

"Just drink it, quick!" the Cat hissed.

Dib heaved a disappointed sigh, knowing he really didn't have much choice. After he'd poured half the contents down his throat, the Cat snatched it away. "You too, Green-Bean," he said, thrusting the vial in Zim's face.

"I will do no such- Mmmph!" Zim nearly choked as the Cat practically shoved the thing down his throat and forced him to drink the remaining liquid. He covered his mouth with his gloved hands, coughing and sputtering and trying not to gag at the bitter taste. "Why you wretched-!"

The rest of Zim's indignant outburst died in his throat as he looked around and noticed that everything around him suddenly seemed much taller than before. The trees, the bushes, even the Cat looked taller, and seemed to be getting taller all the time. "What the-!? Hey! What's going on!?" he squeaked, his voice coming out high-pitched and panicky.

Dib on the other hand wasn't surprised in the slightest. After all, this was nothing new to him. While Zim was busy freaking right the hell out, he merely watched with detached interest as everything around them rose up higher and higher, and in seconds the both of them stood at a mere three inches tall. Sprinting over to Zim who was running around in a circle screaming his head off, Dib grabbed his arm and dragged him beneath a low fringe of leaves hanging from a nearby bush, putting his finger to his lips and letting out a loud 'shhh!' Zim, though practically out of his mind by this point, forced himself to put his total breakdown on hold for the time being and clammed up.

The ground beneath them shook as a pair of enormous legs belonging to the head soldier marched into view, halting directly in front of their hiding place. Dib and Zim ducked down lower, their hearts (or in Zim's case whatever it was that pumped his blood) hammering in their chests. But when the soldier took off his helmet, Zim's eyes nearly bugged right out of his head.

"_SKOODGE!?"_

Even Dib had to admit he was a little surprised to see Zim's newest partner-in-world-conquest standing there before them- he didn't recall seeing this particular alien's inter-dimensional doppelganger last time he'd been here. But since he was Zim's second in command back in their world, he supposed it made sense that he'd be the leader of his army in this one. He also realized he'd just used the word "sense" to describe the situation and had to choke back a tiny snort of laughter.

The chubby little Irken's head pivoted from side to side. One side of his face was covered by a heart-shaped eye-patch, while his other beady red eye scanned the area carefully. Frowning, he scratched a spot beneath his antennae. "Huh. I _know_ I saw someone around here. Where'd they go?"

Zim could barely contain his outrage. "Why that little-…!" He clenched his teeth and began to storm out, but Dib yanked him back.

"You moron! That's _not_ Skoodge! Not the one you know, anyway," he whispered loudly. "Now just be quiet!" Zim sent a glare of seething hostility his way, but stayed put.

A sudden, shrill whistle pierced the air overhead, causing Skoodge to jump. He looked up to see the Cheshire Cat waving down to him from a tree branch with a wide, toothy smile. "Yo! What's up?"

Skoodge chuckled in relief. "Oh, it's just a cat. Not much, but um… you didn't happen to see some guys running through the woods just now, did you?"

"Guys?" The Cat scrunched up his eyebrows, pretending to think really hard. "Mm… nope, I don't think so."

Skoodge looked down at the ground, kicking at a clump of dirt. "Oh. Darnit. Well, thanks anyway." Turning around he and his platoon started trudging away.

"See ya!" The Cat waved after them as they disappeared from sight. He jumped out of the tree and landed gracefully on all fours. "Well, _that_ was real hard," he remarked. Meanwhile Dib and Zim crept out from their hiding place, Dib peering around cautiously. "Don't worry, they're gone," the Cat assured him.

"But they saw us. And now they know we're here," Dib said, his tone filled with dismay.

"Nah," the Cat replied. "I don't think they got a good look at you. And that little short one didn't seem too bright. You guys are probably-"

Both of them noticed a heavy breathing sound and turned to see Zim standing there with his fists clenched, shoulders quivering in rage. He stepped towards the Cheshire Cat, lifting himself up on his PAK legs, trying to appear intimidating. The Cat blinked down at him bemusedly. "What's your problem, Shorty?"

"How DARE you, you evil fuzz-beast!" Zim screeched. "I demand you un-shrink me immediately! This is the ULTIMATE insult to an Irken Elite such as myself! Why, if the Tallest ever saw me like this I'd be laughed right out of society!"

Dib frowned at him. "Geez Zim, what's the big deal? You were way smaller than this when you were zipping around trying to destroy my brain in your little nano-ship thing." But Zim didn't seem to hear him.

"Do as I say! Return me to normal, right now!"

The Cat shook his head. "Not so fast, Pipsqueak. Those guys might come back. I think it'd be better if the two of you just stayed tiny till we get to the Caterpillar. Here, I'll even give you a lift." He leaned forward on his front paws to let them climb onto his back. Dib hopped up, but Zim just turned his back to them, stamping his foot petulantly.

"Hmph! I don't need your pitiful help!" With that, his spider legs emerged from his PAK and carried him off over the grass. Dib and the Cat stared after him as he went.

A short silence, then Dib said: "I told you not to bring him along."

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A/N: Woot! You finished another chapter! Yay for you! *claps*

So mmmmmyep Zim in none too pleased with Wonderland so far XD Next chapter we see him meet the Bitterpillar for the first time, and also get our first glimpse of Wonderland's new green little dictator-for-life. Also... MORE DIB AND ZIM ARGUING! Cause I knowz you lovez it.

See you then! ^-^


	4. Chapter 4- Mushroom War

A/N: Hey, you wonderful, lovely reader, you! Thanks for coming back! ^^ Ah~ Da madness continues! If you like seeing Zim and Dib arguing a lot and competing in the _stupidest_ way possible, you'll like this chapter XD Also we get to meet the Bitterpillar, _and_ get our first look at the "White Rabbit." ^w^ Well, what you waiting for? Read on!

(Just thought I'd mention, this chapter's title is a small allusion to Adventure Time)

Chapter 4- Mushroom War

The Cat and Dib soon caught up to their moody little deserter, who pretended not to notice them. Dib thought it was kind of funny- he'd always thought Zim resembled some sort of bug, but now, stalking along on his spider-legs with giant blades of grass shooting up all around him he looked more insect-like than ever. "Come on, Zim, you don't even know where you're going. Just save your energy and get up here already."

"Nonsense! I know _exactly _where I'm going! And my extension legs never get tired! They are the height of Irken ingenuity, and-" Not looking where he was going, Zim sailed right into a spider's web. "RRRGH! ARGH! Get me out of this thing!" He twisted and jerked violently, trying to free himself from the thick, sticky strands, but all he managed to do was entangle himself further.

The Cat snapped him up and promptly dropped the irate little alien onto his back. "Now just sit there and enjoy the ride, or I'll eat your head off," he ordered.

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Try me," The feline warned, flashing a set of sharp teeth. He tried to sound serious, but Dib wasn't fooled. He knew this twisted Cat well enough by now to know he was loving every second of their torment. It was like a game for him, seeing how far he could stretch their mental rubber bands before they finally snapped, his sole motivation seemingly nothing more than his own amusement. It suddenly hit him just how insane and unpredictable the Cheshire Cat really was, and he began to wonder if trusting him was really such a good idea.

Zim sat there with his arms crossed and his face drawn into a sulky pout, but he made no attempt to get back down. Dib glanced back at him, searching his face. It was strange- he'd never seen Zim so agitated before. Plenty of _times_, yes, but never quite to this degree. He seemed not just angry, but… almost embarrassed, somehow. Dib had only a vague idea of how Irken society worked, but he did know that according to their rules of hierarchy you were only as important as your height. Being so small now must've been a huge blow to Zim's ego, and he found himself feeling just the slightest touch of compassion in spite of himself. "C'mon, Zim, just… relax for once, would you?" he said, trying to reason with him but knowing it probably wouldn't work.

"Hmph. _You_ try relaxing when you're the size of a blorchasplaxsis larva!" Zim seethed. Dib had no idea what that was, so he couldn't tell if this was significant or not.

"Uh… yeah. Well, I _am_ the same size as youincase you didn't notice_, _and you don't hear _me_ complaining about it."

Zim gave a snort of comtempt. "As a matter of fact, I recall you complaining about that more than _anything_. Every time you'd open your mouth about this place you'd whine how you were always getting squished down or blown up or something."

"Oh _NOW_ you remember what I said!" Dib returned irritably. It was true though- of all the unusual experiences he'd had on his previous trip down the rabbit hole, Dib had found the whole size-changing thing to be of _particular _annoyance, going from being too small one minute to giant the next, and _always_ at the worst possible times. He couldn't exactly blame Zim for his less-than-thrilled reaction. Instead he tried to come up with something positive to say- which was not especially easy for him. "Okay, I admit this place can be… annoying. And weird. _Really _weird. But it's not _so_ bad. And besides, you're the one who insisted on coming, you know."

"That was _before_ I was forced to suffer this humiliation," he huffed. "And anyway, _you_ were the one who was wetting your pants about returning to this horrible world. Now you're telling me it's not so bad?"

Dib shrugged wearily. "Yeah, well, we're here now, and there's no point in making things anymore difficult."

Zim would not be swayed. "I swear, Dib-stink, every time I'm near you and your giant head I end up in some awful, parallel dimension."

"Hey, I didn't want you to come in the first place! Don't get mad at _me!" _Dib snapped_. _"And that only happened that one time!" Zim stuck out his tongue, and Dib spun around and faced front once more, angry resentment contorting his features. What had he been thinking! Trying to comfort _Zim_ of all things! That was the _last_ time he'd ever feel sorry for that… that… stupid, immature little _jerk! _

_Just remember… you're doing this for Gaz… you're doing this for Gaz… _he repeated over in his head. He wondered where she was right now, and if she was okay. His sister was tough, there was no doubt about that, but he was still worried about her. Who _knew_ what kind of horrible torture she might be suffering at Zim or the Rabbit or _whoever's_ hand right now? It was odd, but he no longer found himself thinking of Gaz's Wonderland counterpart as a different person. She was simply his sister, the same way the Gaz in his own world was, and this made him all the more determined to help her. It was just too bad he was stuck putting up with Zim's whiny, childish little attitude through the whole thing.

Zim, for his part, couldn't _believe_ the situation he was in. He should have been working on his latest, brilliant plan for global conquest right now, not riding on the back of some mangy feline creature though an awful place like this! _With his most hated _foe_, no less! _And shrunk down to such a horrible, _miniscule _size… what would his leaders think if they saw him like this!? Even _Skoodge _would laugh at him! GRRRR! This was all the Dib's fault! _Clearly_ he'd tricked him into coming here! He promised himself right then and there that if he ever got out of this he'd melt that rotten, little Dib-stink's legs into jelly!

They rode the rest of the way without a word, the two passengers silently fuming at each other, until the Cat finally came to a halt. "Okay, guys- we're here!"

Dib and Zim slid down off the Cheshire Cat, the ground dark and damp and spongy beneath their shoes, finding themselves surrounded on all sides by a forest of tall, grey mushrooms with wide tops hanging like umbrellas over their heads. A low, chilly mist hovered in the air around them, causing a slight wave of goosebumps to ripple up and down Dib's arms, though it was more likely due to the eerie sense of deja'vu he felt than the cold. As the two ventured forward the mist grew thicker- no, not mist Dib realized. Smoke. A thick, acrid smoke that invaded their lungs, making their throats burn. As they got closer, a large, round mushroom slowly materialized through the purple haze, and a form sitting on top of it began to take shape. A second later the two boys found themselves staring up into the face of none other than their teacher's Wonderlanian equivalent, the Caterpillar.

She appeared almost exactly as Dib remembered: long, segmented torso, multiple arms, sickly blue skin, antennae that stuck out on either side of her bun, and of course Ms. Bitters's unmistakably dour features sitting atop a thin, insectile neck. The only big difference were two deformed shapes sticking out of her back that had once clearly been wings, but now resembled a pair of dead leaves, charred flesh still clinging scantily to their skeletal framework. Zim gaped up at their teacher with open-eyed disbelief, awestruck and more than a little disturbed at seeing her mutated visage. Even all of the Dib-worm's incessant rambling hadn't quite prepared him.

For a moment she seemed to take no notice of the newcomers, then in a creepy, jerking manner she snapped her gaze directly down at the two startled boys. "Who are YOU!?" she growled in a voice indistinguishable from the one that lectured them on doom and gloom in class everyday.

_Geez, this _is _familiar_, Dib thought (as well as he could, for all the smoke was making him feel light-headed). "Um, don't you remember, Ms. Bit- uh, Caterpillar? I'm Dib. I met you the last time I was here?"

She squinted at him through the dusky cloud surrounding her, eyebrows popping in mild recognition. "Oh. It's you again. And what about _that_ one?" She pointed to his companion with the tip of her hookah.

"That's Zim. He's… with me," Dib answered, somewhat begrudgingly.

"How fascinating." The Caterpillar's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Now go away." She inhaled deeply and blew a series of smoke rings in their direction. Dib waved them away and took another step forward.

"No, wait. We need to talk to you," he managed to choke out, his eyes red and stinging. He gestured back towards the striped feline. "The Cheshire Cat told us you could help us."

The Cat grinned and offered her a little wave. She grumbled something unintelligible deep in her throat. "Hey, come on now, you owe me," he said.

"For what?" Dib asked.

"He pulled me out of a bug zapper once- shortly after I met _you _in fact," the Caterpillar grumbled again, the tone of her voice implying that this was _somehow_ Dib's fault. "Okay, fine…" She let out an exasperated grunt to illustrate just how much of a Herculean effort this was on her part. "What do you want?"

"We need you to tell us how defeat the Jabberwocky," Dib said.

"Hmph." A darkly amused smirk crossed Ms. Bitters's face. "_You_ plan on going up against the Jabberwocky?"

Dib fidgeted uncomfortably. "Well… I'd rather not, but I need to help my sister, and the Cat said there was some Wonderland prophecy that says I'm the only one who can defeat it."

Ms. Bitters let out a snort of laughter. "And you actually _believed_ him?"

Dib looked over at the Cat who stood there twiddling his fingers. "Yeah, um, about that… " the Cat began. "There isn't any prophecy."

Dib's jaw dropped. "_What!?_"

The Cat smiled impishly. "Are you really that surprised?"

Given all he knew about the Cheshire Cat up to this point, he honestly couldn't say he was. "No," he said, tone tired and disappointed. "But then why did you ask for _my_ help?"

"Well, truth is you were just the first person I thought of." The Cat shrugged as if dragging Dib back into this crazy other-world with his archenemy in tow to challenge its over-thrower and do battle with a creature straight out of a nightmare weren't no big thang. "But hey, you've beaten the Zim in your world a bunch of times, so I figured taking on his bunny counterpart would be no problem for you."

"Yeah, well the closest the Zim in _my_ world has to a hideous, giant monster is that little robot of his," Dib mumbled. "…Hey, how do you know about all that, anyway?"

"That's, uh, not important right now," the Cat replied hastily.

"LIES!" Zim screeched, startling the two of them. "I don't know who told you such vicious lies, but the Dib has NEVER beaten the mighty ZIM! You hear!? _NEVEEEEERRRRR!_"

"I've beaten you dozens of times!" Dib shot back.

"YOU LIE, DIB-SMELL!"

"Oh yeah?" Dib challenged. "Well then why aren't you the ruler of Earth right now?"

"Because… _SHUT UP_, that's why!" Zim stuck out his lower lip in a pout, but said nothing else.

Dib let out a mournful sigh and looked at the ground. This whole situation just kept getting worse and worse. Of course he'd suspected from the beginning that the whole 'prophecy' thing was complete bunk, but it had nonetheless given him a tiny grain of hope. Now, with that promise of victory snuffed out, his confidence was severely shaken, and he was certain that by the end of this he'd more than likely wind up as a little, spiky-haired Jabberwocky hours'derve. Still, even though he was more scared than he'd ever been in his life (except maybe that time he had that ghost ninja in his toilet- _woo_, that had been a bad one), he knew he had no other choice if he wanted to help Gaz. He tuned his face back up towards the Caterpillar, his gaze hard and determined. "Okay, so maybe there's no prophecy, but if I _do_ have to fight the Jabberwocky I'd like to know how to win against it.

"And _I _want to know how this "White Rabbit" can control such a formidable beast," Zim interrupted.

Dib couldn't help glaring at him suspiciously, but he nodded. "Yeah, actually… I kinda _would_ like to know how he took over this place."

Ms. Bitters stuck the hookah in her mouth, inhaling deeply before answering. "If you must know, there's only one thing that can beat the Jabberwocky, and that's…" she paused for dramatic effect, "…the Vorpal Sword."

"Vorpal Sword?" Dib and Zim asked in unison.

"That's what I said!" she spat, glaring at them before continuing. "It used to belong to the Queen of Hearts, but somehow the Rabbit stole it from her. Anyone who has the sword can control the creature and make it do whatever they want. I guess it's magical or something."

Dib clenched his fists. "So _that's _what happened. We _have_ to steal that sword back!" All at once he felt a spark of hope again. Maybe it wasn't much, but hey… at least stealing a sword sounded a _lot _easier than facing the Jabberwocky head on in battle.

Zim looked skeptical. "Are you _sure _this sword is the only way to defeat the beast?"

Ms. Bitters glared at him, not looking at _all _amused at having her Intel questioned. "Well, you could do like the White Knight did and go up against the Jabberwocky without it," she said flippantly.

"White Knight?" Dib asked, suddenly curious. "Who's that?"

Ms. Bitters took another puff, the smoke hanging around her head like a purple veil. "Some idiot who showed up out of nowhere and declared he was going to "Vanquish the monster in the name of the Queen," or some nonsense. He tried to fight it, but without the Vorpal Sword…" she trailed off, her last word lingering in the air.

"What happened to him?" Dib prodded, more curious than ever.

"Who knows. Probably still digesting."

Dib swallowed hard at this morbid image, trying to keep that knot of fear in his stomach from rising. "Looks like getting that sword back from the Rabbit is our only option, then."

Ms. Bitters shrugged unconcernedly. "Try if you like. It's not like I care… not that I wouldn't mind seeing that _little vermin _brought down," she added resentfully.

"Why?"

The Caterpillar's gaze drifted upwards. "I was staying in the Queen's rose garden when he took over. Thick grass, tons of leaves, lots of dark, dark, shady bushes with thick branches to hide in; it was… not horrible," she said almost wistfully. "But then when the filthy little rodent took over he executed all the gardeners and let the entire grounds fall to ruin. I had to move back here… back out into the _sun_." She shivered.

"Well, don't worry. Now that we know all this we'll definitely get that sword back to the Queen and take that Rabbit _down!_"Dib declared, a note of excitement creeping into his voice.

Zim gave him a sharp look. "Are you crazy!?"

"Huh?"

The green one threw his arms in the air. "Look at us! You really think we're going to accomplish _anything _at this miserable, _insignificant_ little size!?"

Dib supposed he had a point.

"Why don't you two half-wits just try the mushroom?" Ms. Bitters yawned, having had enough of these two morons in her presence.

Zim's eyes flashed on her immediately. "Eh?"

A trail of smoke curling lazily from the side of her mouth, she waved a hand towards the dull grey mushroom beneath her. "If you eat from this side, it'll make you grow larger."

Zim looked at Dib. Dib looked at Zim. Their eyes locked, both of them getting the exact same idea at the exact same time.

They practically ran over each other making a mad dash for the mushroom. Ripping out two large hunks, they stuffed as much at they possibly could into their mouths, and almost instantly they shot upwards. However, Dib ended up growing a good, full-head taller than Zim. He looked down at his nemesis, shooting him a smug grin, but seeing his most hated enemy taller than him was something Zim was simply _not_ about to tolerate. He tore off another piece in his teeth, sneering at Dib as he quickly grew up past him. Not about to be beaten so easily himself, Dib scowled and took another bite. A second later Zim did the same thing, rising up taller than the dark-haired boy once more.

On and on and on, they kept going like this, trying to out-do each other in one of their famous displays of fierce yet dumb rivalry, until someone shouted, "HEY! _STUPIDS!_"

Dib and Zim blinked. Their intense concentration broken, they finally tore their eyes from one another and looked down to see the Cheshire Cat glaring up at them with his arms folded, tail whipping back and forth, tapping his foot impatiently. And only now that they were paying attention did they realize just how absurdly huge they'd become, towering almost twice as high as the treetops.

Dib offered up a sheepish grin. "Heh heh. Oops… I, uh… guess we overdid it a little."

The Cat smacked his forehead, Ms. Bitters chuckling at him under her breath. Mumbling something to himself and seeming genuinely annoyed for the first time, he ripped two pieces out of the other side of the mushroom and vanished, reappearing in the air between the two boys. Dib politely held out his palm and the Cat settled down upon it, holding the pieces out to them. "Hurry up and eat these so we can get going already." Dib carefully took one between his fingertips, but Zim just started at the other piece dubiously.

"What's that for?"

"It'll shrink you back to normal size again," Dib explained helpfully.

Zim looked at him like he'd grown a second head. "Have you the _brain worms!? _Why on IRK would I want that?"

"You wantto stay a giant?" Dib said dryly.

Zim clasped his hands, his eyes shimmering. "Are you kidding? This is _amazing!_ I'm taller than the tallest Tallest that ever lived! Taller than all of them _combined!_ This is the greatest thing that's ever happened! I'd be worshiped as a _GOD _backon my planet!"

"Well _I'm_ not taking you anywhere like that," the Cat informed him. "They'll see us coming from ten miles away. Either you eat this and get down to a more manageable size, or I'm ditching you."

Zim folded his arms stubbornly. "Go ahead, then! The ALLMIGHTY ZIM does not care!"

Dib narrowed an eye at him. "You're really just gonna stay up here by yourself?"

"If it means I get to be tall, then yes," Zim responded, turning his back to him.

"Come on, Zim…" Dib tried once more to reason with him, but Zim would have none of it. "Fine. Have fun just standing here for the rest of your life," he snapped, no longer caring what happened to his obnoxious companion. He popped the teeny bit of mushroom in his mouth, and in another moment he'd shrunk back down to his usual, Dib-like height. He heaved a sigh of relief, thinking how nice it was to finally be back to normal. He _never_ thought he'dhave to go through all that 'big' and 'small' junk again.

Dib and the Cheshire Cat turned and started off down the path, the Cat tossing Zim a cursory wave over his shoulder. "Okay then, I guess we're headed for the palace! See ya!"

Zim attempted to follow them, grunting with effort as he tried to move his legs, but the trees grew close together and the dense, leafy branches made it next to impossible. "Wait!" he blurted out in a thundering voice. They turned around and found him staring down at them, trying to make his face look as sad and pitiful as he possibly could. "Y-you're really just going to leave me here?" he whimpered, his lower lip quivering.

"Oh, geez…" Dib groaned, smacking his palm against his forehead. He'd never seen such a blatant attempt to get someone to feel sorry for them.

"Just get down here and you're more than welcome to join us," the Cat told him.

"Do I really have to?" Zim asked, giving him the most heart-breaking look he could conjure up.

"Yes. Yes you do."

Seeing that the Cat wasn't falling for it, Zim's tearful look dissolved into a reluctant frown. "Okay, fine! Just give me the stupid mushy-room thing, already!"

Fast-forward to a few moments later, and Zim stood there letting out a deeply tragic sigh as he once more found himself back to his usual, diminutive height. Glancing back, he started inching towards the mushroom. "Maybe just ooooone little piece for later…"

"No," the Cat said firmly.

"Aw, come on!" Zim pleaded.

"No."

"Come oooonnnnnn!"

"_NO!_"

"Rrrrrgh! Curse you, striped-one! _CURSE YOOOUUUUU!_"he cried, raising his gloved fists angrily towards the sky.

The Cat just rolled his eyes (well, again, that's what his tone implied). "Uh-huh. Can we just get going," he said, not meaning it as a question. The poor Irken sulked angrily, but followed behind anyway, lamenting the entire time over his lost opportunity to finally be tall, and effectively driving Dib out of his mind.

* * *

At the outermost edge of a forest thick with dying vegetation stood the former Queen of Heart's castle, a foreboding fortress built from white stone and trimmed with dark, stained-glass windows and blood-red rooftops and spires that pierced the sky. Vultures hung in the air around its towers, adding a nice accent to the ominous picture it made. Inside, the castle's new occupant was enjoying one of his favorite activities.

His lips curling up in evil delight, he snapped his fingers. 'Bring him!"

Two card soldiers marched into the room, dragging with them a small, smiling redhead. "Hi, Sir!" he bubbled in an unnervingly cheery voice.

"Hello, Keef," the White Rabbit- now more widely known as the King of Hearts (at least in his own delusional mind), and known to Dib as Zim (and sometimes space-monster), and who will be referred to hereafter as 'Zim-bunny' or 'Bunny-Zim' to us because it just sounds so dang cute- drawled, his wide grin hiding the malice he had planned. "How are you, today?"

"Oh, I'm just great, Sir! The dungeon floor wasn't even that cold last night!"

"That's good to hear," the Zim-bunny chuckled. "And if I were you I'd try to keep that happy little thought in mind for the next several minutes." He sauntered over to a strange machine. Just by looking at it, it was hard to tell exactly what it did, but from the sharp spikes and other such dangerous looking features sticking out of it, it was clear what its purpose was- to inflict the most horrible, unimaginable, torturous pain any human being has ever suffered. Keef smiled as he was led over to it and strapped in.

"Okay, buddy!" he chirped. "It's okay, I think I'm almost healed up from the last time."

_Let's see if we can't make your recovery period take a little longer this time_, the Zim-bunny thought with a snicker. He pulled down a lever, and Keef's hideous yet somehow still happy screams reverberated throughout the room, music to the Zim-bunny's long white ears. He dusted his hands off in satisfaction, strolled over to his big, cushy throne, and flopped down on the cushion, snuggling into it. A few feet away GIR sat on the floor, his metal lips sipping at a teacup, while Minimoose, wearing little grey mouse ears (he was really the Dormoose the whooooole time!) hovered in the air above his grossly oversized top-hat. "More tea?" GIR offered, lifting the cup over his head. Minimoose took a small sip and let out a squeaky 'Myah!' of joy.

"Ahhh…" the Zim-bunny sighed blissfully, kicking his feet up on the armrest. He ran a finger along the rim of his new gold crown, liking the feel of its heavy weight on his head. "It's great being me. Mmm, yep… so great. So so so…"

Before he could indulge himself further, Skoodge came bursting into the room in a huge frenzy. "Sir!" the stocky little Irken cried somewhat out of breath, taking a second to bow to his king.

"Ah, Knave," the Zim-bunny purred in the tone of one who couldn't possibly imagine anything happening to spoil his nice, relaxing day. "You have news to report?"

Skoodge saluted. "Yes Sir! I was patrolling the South Woods, and I think I saw something!"

"Well?" the Zim-bunny prodded when Skoodge just stood there.

"I can't be sure, but I think I saw two strangers. I didn't get a good look at both of them, but I'm pretty sure one of them had on a black coat and had black pointy hair."

This immediately got Bunny-Zim's attention. "Did they have… glasses?"

"Yeah. I think so."

That was all he needed to hear. The Zim-bunny's features twisted into something on the verge of pure evil. He leapt up on his throne, striking one of those over-the-top 'Zim' poses he'd been saving especially for this occasion. "FINALLY! I knew he'd be back someday! Oh how I've waited for this day! This day I've… uh, been _waiting_ for! The day I will have my _REVENGE!_" He tossed his head back, laughing like a super-villain, his cacophonous cackles of doom echoing all throughout the castle. Thinking this was some sort of fun game, GIR joined in, adding to the bizarre sound.

After he'd finished, the Zim-bunny tilted his gaze down at Skoodge. "Anything else?"

"Not really," Skoodge shrugged. "There was this cat hanging around, and-"

"Did you say a _CAT!?_" The Zim-bunny's pink nose was suddenly a centimeter away from the Knave's face. Though he was afraid of offending his suddenly psychotic looking Majesty, he couldn't help backing away uneasily.

"Y-yes, Sir. A striped cat with purple hair."

The look that now spread across his King's face was _really_ starting to make Skoodge nervous. Strike that- it was just plain freaking him out! "Um… a-are you okay, Sir?" he uttered as Bunny-Zim finished up another round of maniacal laugher.

"Am I okay!?" He leaped at Skoodge.

"Don't hurt me!" The chubby Irken threw up his hands, but the Zim-bunny grabbed him by the wrists and spun him around, laughing with deranged merriment.

"This is _fantastic! _And here I thought this day couldn't get any better! Not only has the Dib-insect returned, but that miserable feline has shown his face at last!" He strolled over to two pictures posted on the wall. One was a crude, rather unflattering drawing of Dib with his head blown up ten times bigger than his body, the other was of the Cheshire Cat with his fingers hooked in his cheeks and his tongue sticking out. His eyes bored into them. "Surely that horrible _Cat_ is the one responsible for bringing the Dib back here! Thinks he can stop me," he chuckled. "But now that you're both here it is a _double_ helping of vengeance I will rain down upon you! At last, both of you will PAY for humiliating me!"

Bunny-Zim stared off into space, flashing back to the day of the trial as he'd done so many times over the past few months, the fury and frustration he'd felt back then still fresh in his memory.

For reasons that still eluded him, the miserable Dib-stink had simply shown up out of nowhere one day, chasing after him and accusing him of being this 'Zam' creature or some such foolishness. After stalking him relentlessly across the entirety of Wonderland, the Dib had followed him to the Queen of Heart's croquet match where he'd insisted on holding a trial after the previous Knave was accused of stealing the Queen's Game Slave 2. There, he'd not only insulted him in front of the entire court, but then had the unmitigated _audacity_ to escape right out from underneath his mighty blade of death. Standing over him triumphantly and aiming right for Dib's neck, he'd been about to deliver the final WHAK when that troublesome, interfering Cheshire Cat had appeared. The Cat had whispered something to Dib, and before he knew it the boy had vanished without a trace. He'd dropped to his knees and let out a mournful wail of outrage while the Cat just sat there grinning that hideous, mocking, _infuriating_ grin of his.

Snapping out of his daydream, Bunny-Zim turned back to Skoodge. "There's no doubt the two of them will be headed here. Knave! I want you to go around the palace and spread the word! Tell everyone to keep an eye out for them!"

"Yes, Sir!" Skoodge saluted and bounded out of the room.

"I'll just wait for them to come to me," Bunny-Zim grinned, his magenta eyes alight with malevolence. "And when they do, I'll make sure they receive a most fitting welcome." He laughed low in his throat, then hopped back up on his throne, motioning to the guards to un-strap Keef and drag him over. "Now! You! Dance for your ruler!" he commanded.

"Okay!" Keef chirped, and began doing a happy little jig, uttering an occasional "Oww…" as he attempted to move his broken and battered limbs. He let out a shriek as Bunny-Zim fired a laser at his feet.

"Faster! And more _JIGGLY!_"

The redhead, looking somehow happy and terrified at the same time, moved his legs even faster as the Zim-bunny's cruel laughter once more filled the air.

* * *

A/N: Man, poor Keef XD I think Bunny-Zim is even more psychotic than regular Zim, and that is NOT an easy feat. As the new ruler of Wonderland he's completely MAD with power, so he's even _more_ evil and egotistical than his real-world counterpart. We'll have to see just_ how_ deep down the rabbit hole his madness goes heh heh. Join me next time, and we'll also see if Dib and Zim can cooperate long enough to infiltrate the palace (I'm betting 'no'), and find out what happened to the Queen of Hearts, and also meet some more IZ characters horribly mutated into Wonderland ones. As always, thank you for reading ^^


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